How one sentence can lock in the sale (if you dodge this fatal error)

How one sentence can lock in the sale (if you dodge this fatal error)

Do you use bullet points in your product or service descriptions? This article spells out the monstrous error most businesses make in writing bullets, and how A-list copywriters craft mouth-watering ones to ramp up orders. Let’s dive in.


Biggest Bullet BLOOPER…

As A-list Copywriter David Garfinkel explains in his book Breakthrough Copywriting, the problem is people often have the wrong impression of the purpose of a bullet. Here’s why.

It’s a common misconception to think bullet points are used to summarize aspects of your product or service. Instead, you’re looking to use bullets to create a burning curiosity in your target’s mind to make them desperate to buy.

A summarized bullet satisfies the golfers you’re selling to. This makes them say:

“Now I understand what it is. I don’t have to worry about getting it because I understand what it is.”

A good bullet provokes your prospect. It makes them want to read the next sentence. It creates curiosity, desire, anxiety and excitement. You don’t want to create that static state of satisfaction. Let’s have a look at the example in Garfinkel’s book.

“This is not a bullet for a weight loss product:

“When you’re trying to lose weight, you should never eat two ice cream sized scoops of Crisco covered with a generous serving of maple syrup. In this book, you’ll learn why.”

This is a bullet:

“A double whammy dessert that’s a recipe for diabetes and high cholesterol. You may have had this after Sunday dinner, but after you learn what it is, you’ll never even think of eating this again.”

What’s the difference? I’m talking about the same thing. People eat foods that are actually that bad. In the first case, I’m describing it. Now you know what not to eat, so where does that leave you? “I understand something. I learned something. That’s great.”

With the second bullet point, you want them to say, “What’s he talking about? Is he talking about my favorite dessert? Am I going to get diabetes from my favorite dessert? Am I going to get high cholesterol? I’m going to have a heart attack just because of my favorite dessert?”

Instead of summarizing and revealing, which satisfies your prospect, you’re teasing and creating a burning curiosity to drive them to think “I gotta find that out!”. And the only way to find it out, is to buy your product.


The crazy thing about bullets…

When you have effective bullet points, golfers could buy based on reading just one bullet. Also, some readers will not read your whole page, they’ll scroll straight to the bullets to get the gist of your offering. Given this, we need to make them curious and tempted, not satisfied.

Now, to relate this to Golf, let’s take a look at great golf bullet points taken from classic ads. Think about how you could use similar ones in your own descriptions.

  • If you feel guilty about forgetting to keep your head down. forget it (That is not the reason why you've been topping your shots. See page 123).
  • What to do when people tell you to swing your shoulders and arms in the same plane. (Do nothing except show them page 16).
  • FOR WOMEN: You can hit the ball much farther than you do now. If you don’t believe it, see page 95. (Also: Why most women tend to cut the ball - and how to stop) .
  • IF THE FIRST THING YOU DO BEFORE SWINGING IS POSITION YOUR FEET, YOU'VE GOT THE ORDER WRONG. (See page 39).
  • If your shots feel solid when you hit them, but the ball flies in the wrong direction anyway, see page 19.
  • WHY COPYING THE GREAT GOLFERS MAY BE RUINING YOUR GAME (page 168).
  • How to develop a good swing that is natural for your own physique (and why only a strong pro can get away with imitating the way Nicklaus does it. Page 176).
  • A simple 3-swing drill that will instantly add power to your swing…thus increasing the raw distance of every tee shot you hit from here on out.
  • The correct way to use your legs as you swing…which instantly ‘nails down’ your accuracy. No more slicing and hooking, ever! (Just think how much fun you’ll have hitting 18 out of 18 fairways in regulation!)
  • The simple little tip that will automatically insure that your clubhead is ALWAYS in the perfect position upon impact with the ball. (Ernie Els has this down - it’s the reason he’s known as probably the most accurate golfer in the pro game.)
  • And…the amazing “follow through” secret that is the foundation of making long, straight drives so easy you could cry with joy! This alone will change your game forever...

Notice how these bullets are teasing, not revealing? Bullet after bullet, they're building your curiosity to the point you’re screaming “TAKE MY MONEY” at the screen.

I hope this helps you sell more and impact more golfers games.

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